Give me some credit, it’s Christmas after all

Well, it’s Christmas Eve and I still haven’t bought a present for my beloved wife, nor have I made a purchase for my baby girl.

And I may not.

Partly it’s my nature to leave things until the last minute, partly I’m paralysed by fear of making a(nother) terrible gift buying blunder and in part it’s because I loathe the idea of buying babies presents they will neither need nor remember.

It’s also partly a product of having a daily limit on my new keycard, which is such a poxy device it puts me off shopping altogether.

This gripe stems from the fact I had to recently cancel my credit card in order to satisfy a loan application for a house. In cancelling my beloved credit card which was linked to all other accounts, I lost my access to the financial world.

Now that I have a new keycard (I feel like I’m 15 again), I am too aware of the wonderful consumer transactional world I’m excluded from.

My new card is swipe only. There is no smart chip, there is no tap and go or paywave, and there is of course no credit facility. You can’t even pay for all parking tickets at shopping centres without a credit card – it’s completely annoying and unnerving.

I know I should be out remedying this lack of gift issue now instead of writing about it, but it’s not that easy.

One year my late shopping habit saw me buy my lovely a t-shirt she thought was a complete joke (it wasn’t) and a CD single that I thought was a full CD (turns out it just had a big plastic cover to fool unsuspecting victims like me).

Most recently I purchased her a beautiful and expensive dress that I personally selected from a high-fashion store.

The result? We now have a firm rule that I am to keep all receipts from any purchases I make.

First-world problems I know, but hey, isn’t that what Xmas has become all about?

20.13pm: PS: I did make a late dash to the shops today and Santa will be visiting our house after all!

Spellbound and ready to sabotage selfishness

Elsie-May has cast a spell over me. I've only known her a very short time, but I talk to her every day and I think about her a lot. She’s never said a word back to me.

My darling wife has noticed changes in me I'm sure of it - she knows about Elsie-May and my growing infatuation with her.

Still, my wife, a strong and independent woman – far from a Stepford wife – stays with me, and loves me more every day.

She has even embraced Elsie-May in our lives, and is actually very close to her.

Elsie-May is my newborn daughter. Our first child.

She arrived on my birthday, September 20, the best birthday present I’ll surely ever receive and one I’ll be eternally grateful for.

We already have a lot to be thankful for. For starters, the pregnancy was a breeze compared to some stories you hear.

No morning sickness, no major dramas, straight-forward appointments with the obstetrician and the hospital, easy.

Of course, for me, that means not much changed in the lead-up.

And there it is – my casual selfishness coming to the fore.

While my wife got bigger, less comfortable, struggled to sleep, and became anxious about what was ahead of her, for me, nothing much changed.

I still went to the gym, to work, to golf, to the pub if I wanted, and I still invited people over for dinner at will. Because for me, aside from having to attend a few parenting classes and making some purchases to set up the nursery, it was business as usual.

I didn’t need to monitor what I could and couldn’t eat, I didn’t require daily supplements to give another dependant person the best chance at life, I didn’t suffer from constant indigestion or a lack of sleep (although the lack of sleep aspect has now well and truly been taken care of).

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t an absentee partner. My point is that for us blokes, the real work of parenting doesn’t really start until we’ve got something to get our hands on. In the meantime, we’re merely a support act.

I knew that was all going to be knocked for six, and that my preoccupation with self was due to be almost entirely substituted for a manic passion to put someone else first.

And now that it’s upon me, it’s even better than I had anticipated.

As I edged closer to the day that I actually became a Dad, I thought more and more about Elsie-May and what she might want or need, ahead of what I do. I was happily sabotaging my own selfishness, bit by bit, as if training myself for the inevitable.

Typing this with my sleeping beauty laying next to me, sniffling, snuffling and stretching, I cannot wait for every next chance I get to hold her, help her, nurture her, and watch her learn and grow.

I can’t wait for us all to bond and grow together, learning and developing through adversity and sharing in the spoils of the happy times we are sure to also experience.

I’m curious to see how I handle fatherhood, to see if I’m any good at it, and to take on the many challenges it throws at me, all whilst continuing to try and fulfil my own personal and professional ambitions.

I’m really looking forward to the whole gamut, despite the anxiousness and apprehension I have about getting it right.

And there's the crucial little revelation that goes to the heart of what could be seen as my self-absorbed approach during the pre-birth period.

Can I actually do this and can I do it well? This is not something you want to get only half right - or get completely wrong for that matter either.

Pregnancy and parenthood is something the girls excitedly talk about and share stories, learnings and the like about. This is not the traditional domain of men.

So behind the veneer of my relaxed, self-assured and unchanged approach to life at this point in time, is the trepidation of a brand new dad. A fledgling father who, for all his self-confidence, is completely uncertain about his ability to get the job done and to get it done right.

Someone who wants to be as good as my dad was to me, and as my wife’s dad was to her.

Hopefully by the time she can read this, Elsie-May will understand and be proud of the effort I’ve put in to raising her, and she may even give me some pointers for improvement along the way.

In the meantime, I’ll heed the some of the abundance of advice I’ve received from other more seasoned parents, and just soak up every minute of this precious time before she learns how to talk back and tell me everything I’m doing wrong.

This column was first published on the Mamamia website. For the full copy with pics visit http://www.mamamia.com.au/parenting/newborn-baby-becoming-a-dad/

Major emergencies have a long tail – so support those fighting the fires in NSW

I’ve been in Sydney on several occasions over the past few weeks – every time I’ve been there, the weather has been hot.

Being from Melbourne, that’s been enjoyable, despite the challenges it poses to carry-on luggage adequately accommodating the different climates.

I’ve caught up with friends and sat in Hyde Park on balmy evenings enjoying the good food at the Night Noodle Market, and I’ve been able to finally use an outdoor pool at a hotel.

 

I was in Sydney last Thursday when the raging NSW bushfires started to take hold up in the Blue Mountains and surrounding areas.

 

Stuck inside with air-conditioning at a conference all day, I was too busy with work to even go outside and look up at the sky. Some other colleagues managed to, and what they saw was the hot talk of the table at dinner that night.

 

What I missed was an eerily and devilishly red sky above the harbour, beautiful and intriguing to some, but in reality, a direct result of something far more sinister and dangerous happening not that far away.

 

Though disappointed I missed it, even if I had seen it, it would have been purely voyeuristic, as I was jumping on a plane and leaving town to head home to safety the next morning anyway.

 

The following day’s papers, even back in Melbourne, carried front page headlines such as “Hellfire” – the red sky the previous night was nothing to admire.

 

What is to admire, however, is those thrust into the midst of working through these large-scale emergencies.

 

I have seen their work– their tireless and tough work – up close, and it is something those of us not directly affected should all appreciate, and something that those requiring their help will never forget.

 

I was a Ministerial adviser in the Victorian Brumby Government when the 2009 Black Saturday Bushfires hit, killing 173 people. It was all hands on deck to get out and help communities in any way possible during the days, and all the seats at the office table were filled as support and recovery plans were built throughout the evenings.

 

I saw all of our emergency services working hard together at fire fronts, volunteers at community halls helping house those displaced from their homes by fire. I saw the Army working to help rebuild burnt out communities and I saw the nerve centres that managed resources to fight ongoing fires and fire threats.

Then in the aftermath as an adviser working specifically on emergency services and bushfire response, I saw the long tail of dealing with a Royal Commission, creating new legislation to improve fire safety, to rebuild entire communities and to help keep people safe.

 

In 2013, four years later, my involvement continues, working with the country’s largest Class Actions law firm at Maurice Blackburn, seeking compensation for those that lost and suffered because of the Kinglake and Marysville fires.

 

Today in NSW the winds are reported to be hitting extreme speeds of up to 100kph in the Blue Mountains and other parts of the state – the RFS Commissioner Shane Fitzsimmons has indicated that his firefighters are battling 60 fires, 22 of which are uncontained, with three at emergency level.

 

For those dealing with a major event, such as the brave emergency services teams and the authorities that work tirelessly to put in place the support networks to deal with the fallout, there’s no quick fix and there’s no easy exit from these situations.

 

It’s tough work and it’s tiring work for all involved, but it’s some of the most important work the people involved will ever do.

 

My experience tells me that these emergencies and those involved don’t just come and go. So I take my hat off to all those working on the NSW fires emergency, because while the work required might peak during the height of the disaster, it doesn’t just jump on a plane and go away any time soon.

 

 

Frankly speaking, the Franklin deal is Buddy brilliant - for the competition

…those who claim to have the greater good of football at heart should think twice about renouncing the intrepid actions of the Sydney Swans.

The American government is currently shutting down, because the Republican-led House of Reps has refused to pass Obama’s budget, unless Obama’s Democrats negotiate to partially dismantle their flagship health care policy, Obama Care.

That led to international news bulletins running an interesting grab from the US President, who in frustration, told the world that, “You don’t get to extract a ransom, just for doing your job.”

Tell that to Buddy Franklin and his management team.

While we’re still getting accustomed to our traditionally loyal AFL turning its hand to free agency, Lance Franklin’s reported nine-year, $10million deal is an epic achievement that will change the trading landscape of the AFL forever.

Naturally, such an unexpected and major play has caused reverberations throughout the league and throughout the country, predominantly resulting in predictable emotional reactions from people that it’s somehow unfair.

While the AFL is obliged to now run an investigative eye over the deal to make sure it stacks up, there is nothing currently that indicates there is any illegitimacy within the current rules about the intriguing and breathtakingly audacious coup that has occurred.

As the AFL states, the Swans are aware of their total player payment obligations, and it would be staggering if they are proven to have breached the rules in such a prominent deal that was always going to attract extreme scrutiny – especially in light of very recent and high-profile mistakes by other clubs regarding player payments.

But despite the chorus of incredulity at the ability for such a landmark deal to have been pulled off as effectively and covertly as this, I’ll bet there’s been no wrongdoing and it’s simply a case of the Swans reinforcing their prowess as the masters of strategy, trading and list management.

And why begrudge the once destitute Harbour-side Swans from working within the rules to avoid bottoming out in order to stay at the top? After all, they haven’t bought themselves a winning culture or a team of stars, but they along with Geelong are standout examples in the league for their ability to foster and engender an enduring culture of success. This is just part of the mix.

Even Collingwood President and ardent anti-Swan Eddie McGuire conceded on Fox Footy’s AFL 360 last night that the Swans have simply made the most of a golden opportunity and shouldn’t be excoriated for making the most of what he sees as the flawed system they operate within.

And without delving into issues that could stand alone as opinion pieces, such as the true cost of living variations in different states, perhaps the Swans have sniffed the breeze and exploited their competitive advantage before the AFL removes it. Or perhaps they’ve just shot themselves in the foot and put the extra payments issue so brazenly in the spotlight that no-one can swallow it any longer, and they’ve killed the goose that laid the golden egg.

Either way it worked for the here and now, and those decrying the fact that Kurt Tippett and Lance Franklin have landed in Sydney in consecutive years should consider two things:

•          1: The Swans are shedding some heavy salary cap weight with the retirement of top-line players and the mooted trade of other notable stars such as ruckman Shane Mumford, plus they get considerable concessions due to the veterans on their list such as Adam Goodes; and,
•          2: The non-binding offer that has reportedly been put to Franklin can be matched by Hawthorn, but if as expected it isn’t, the contract is a huge risk for Sydney.

That’s right, it is a huge risk for the Swans to secure Buddy.

If he plays until the end of this extensive contract, he’ll be 35-years-old with 18 seasons under his belt and he could be just shy of 400 games and number four on the all-time games played leader board behind legends Michael Tuck, Kevin Bartlett and Dustin Fletcher.

In reality, due to injury and other inevitable circumstances, the more likely chances are that he won’t get near it, and the Swans will pay a high price for shorter term success.

Longer term, the Swans are doing the competition a favour by keeping Franklin in the game for as long as possible. He’s undeniably captivating to watch, and unless he’s playing against your side, footy watchers love to see him at his best, and the longer they can do that, the better.

The Sydney Swans have cemented an out and out star of the game as a permanent fixture of AFL marketing for another decade. It’s brilliant, (for everyone except the Hawks and the GWS Giants) and those who claim to have the greater good of football at heart should think twice about renouncing the intrepid actions of the Swans.

It took courage from the two major parties involved to get it done. That courage has in turn resulted in a major coup for the Swans, for Franklin, and for the AFL.

Perhaps it’s time the all-conquering US Government sat up and paid attention to our little home-grown game of AFL to see how showing some courage in uncertain times can result in a greater good, free from the shackles of personal, political or emotional baggage.

Your first time... let the games begin

Your first time at anything - work, performing arts, a sportsperson's debut, sex - anything, has an inherent elevated level of importance attributed to it, as though that first impression will make or break you.

Sometimes it will, but often it won't.

Take this new blog for example, which I've been working on creating for a little while now.
Part of the procrastination in hitting the button to go live has been in waiting for a special idea to inspire my first post, so that I leave an indelible impression on the blogosphere.

I decided last night to scroll through the 1300+ twitter posts I've treated the world to over the last couple of years, remembering that a similar reluctance delayed my arrival on the Twitter scene.

As it turns out my first tweet was far from inspiring, just a basic retweet of someone else, more of a test to see if I could handle such a wildly complex online platform before getting stuck in to it.

So with that in mind, today I post the first of many new blogs under the New World Audit appellation.

A New World Audit is an acknowledgement that the times, they are a changing - for us all. And as the world changes, we also change - and so do our views on the issues that we encounter.

So, as we wade through the increasingly blurred lines of sport, politics, technology, family, work and the new world around us, I invite you to join my journey in giving you my take on it.

This is the beginning of my New World Audit.